(4th in series of working towards achieving New Year’s resolutions. This series will be posted the last week of each month as we work our way through 2020 all together.)
“Comfort kills ambition. Get uncomfortable and get used to it in your pursuit of your goals and dreams.” -Robert Kiyosaki
Here we are at the end of February and we get a bonus day this year too! For those like me who are keeping track, February 29 will mark 16% of year complete, one-sixth of the 2020 pie. The last week of the month is a great time to pause and reflect on progress made so far this year working towards our big goals, those New Year’s Resolutions.
Are you continuing on the march forward your goals? Have you had a setback? What has been successful? What has been a challenge? Do you want to continue with the same goal or do you want to consider a revised goal? Has it been easy? Hard? Have you already achieved the goal and need a new goal? Allow yourself a few minutes to consider these questions, and revise and upgrade the plan.
And one more question. Have you felt uncomfortable yet? How do you handle discomfort? It’s an important part of the process. Remember that quote from last month: “If you only walk on sunny days, you will never reach your destination.” -Paolo Coelho?
Being uncomfortable is well, uncomfortable, but it’s actually good. It’s a sign that you are in the process of achieving something and learning something new. Yet we are surrounded my messages in marketing and in the media that we deserve things to be easy and comfortable. That’s not true. Climbing a mountain isn’t always easy, but we do it because we want the view from the top, the satisfaction of having achieved it. It starts off easy enough on the gently sloped path we are motivated and excited. Then suddenly the path is steep and getting steeper. The steps we take are smaller and require more effort, but moving is winning and we carry one on step at a time. Eventually, the the gradient levels off again and we are rewarded with breathtaking views making the effort well worth it.
Things feel uncomfortable when they are new. They feel clumsy and awkward and strange. That is only temporary; it’s guaranteed to get better once it becomes familiar. New neuropathways have to be established. I remember my first guitar lesson; my fingers didn’t want to do what they were supposed to do to play the chords. But I kept working the positions and eventually I got the hang of it; and every week it became easier and easier. When I got callouses on my fingertips, they were uncomfortable; but I was pleased because they were a sign of progress.
In psychology there are the Four Stages of Competence. A simple online search will provide plenty of graphical illustrations of this concept. The four stages are:
- Unconscious incompetence
- Conscious incompetence
- Conscious competence
- Unconscious competence
Learning to drive is a perfect example. In the beginning you don’t know how much you don’t know. Once you start learning, you realize that there are a lot of things to learn to reach competence. It’s kind of exciting and scary at the same time. Then you achieve competence when you still need to be paying attention to driving, but it’s easier and more comfortable. Eventually, you are able to drive without even thinking about it, it just happens unconsciously. For many goals, we have to go through the vulnerable stages before something comes naturally.
The thing about being uncomfortable is that it requires a lot of focus just to be there. You have to consciously choose it. It’s so much easier to sit on a comfy sofa and watch another episode (or another whole season) on Netflix than go for a walk/workout, try a new recipe, go out to an exhibit, attend a class, or write the next chapter of your book. Being uncomfortable puts us in the present moment. It keeps our bodies and minds active. Unexpected things will happen in the present moment and each one is an opportunity to learn and move forward towards success. The greatest achievements and best stories come from pushing through the discomforts. The best stories we have to tell are about being uncomfortable and conquering challenges and discomforts; and in the end, those who conquer the biggest challenges are our heroes.
So get out there and get your feet wet outside of your comfort zone. It takes practice to be comfortable bring uncomfortable, but like everything else, it gets easier the more you do it.
“Do one thing everyday that scares you. Those small things that make us uncomfortable help us build courage to do the work we do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
