I believe there are lessons and truths coming from all traditions. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a spiritual book based on the wisdom of the Toltecs in North America.  I listen to the short audiobook a couple of times per year and each time there is a message that seems to be just for me in that moment, something new to teach me.

What I love about the Four Agreements is that they are meant to apply to only yourself. “It is a way of life where there are no leaders and no followers where you have your own truth and live your own truth.”  There’s no confession, no metric involving others, it’s just you and how you show up in the world each day. It has become a sort of anchor for me when I feel like I’m not totally in alignment with my best self.

That doesn’t mean it’s a free for all and you can do whatever you want; your truth, my truth, and each of our own truths are to be grounded in the framework of the Four Agreements. It also doesn’t mean that it’s easy, but it does allow freedom from the expectations you may be surrounded by in your life. Another aspect that attracts me to the Four Agreements is that they have a way of de-personalizing spirituality in a manner that makes it possible to have a conversation about things that might otherwise be uncomfortable. When my kids were in middle school and high school, we might talk about which one is the most challenging for each of us right now and why. It’s simple, down to earth language that also digs into the root and the essence of more serious issues.

Finally, I have yet to find myself in a challenging situation that doesn’t in some way come back to a misalignment with one of the agreements. With this understanding, life situations can be easier to process and move on without the baggage. At some point, I will dedicate a post to each agreement on its own, but for now (imagine a drumroll because I know you’ve been waiting for it) The Four Agreements:

1 – Have impeccable words. Your words and thoughts matter. Mind what you say out loud, in writing, and even in your thoughts. After all, “in the beginning was the word…” We get to choose each day to use our words to be constructive or destructive.
2 – Don’t take things personally. Most of the time it’s not about you anyway. Let others handle their own energy, and stay focused on your own.
3 – Don’t make assumptions. In any given situation, there are so many variables and aspects that it is quite unlikely that you could possibly know and understand the full picture.
4 – Do your best. Do your best with these rules and in all that you pursue in your life. You will find yourself able to relax with no regrets at the end of each day.

I encourage you to read the book for itself because it contains so much wisdom and is full of treasures that will be received very differently from one to another. By tethering your own life to this simple framework, you will possess the great potential to bring out the best in yourself and those around you.