Knowing is not enough;
we must apply.
Wishing is not enough;
we must do.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Today’s post is longer than usual and details how to make a checklist to support your best self each and every day and why it’s so important right now. This list is like your own personal magic potion and it will change from week to week. It’s a combination of ensuring that your basic needs are met while also making space each day in very small increments to move forward with your unique gifts and goals, your talents and desires. While it’s easy to be stuck here with our heads spinning after the last several weeks of experiencing the global pandemic, there is so much energetic potential to harness towards our greatest good. Think of the rare flowers that appear only after a destructive wildfire, the lilacs that blossom only after the deep freeze of winter, or the luxurious wines made from grapes that survive a stressful growing season.

***For the fast track of this post, skip ahead to this symbol to the action section. However, if you can spare an extra couple minutes, it’s worth reading through to capture the full story and concept.

We are in the wake of the Easter holiday this week in which the Christian tradition celebrates the resurrection, the rebirth of Christ following the death by crucifixion. Spring is abundant with symbolism of rebirth from the Equinox and various New Year’s celebrations in March to the first day of the month on April 1, to Easter, to the planting of new seeds and nurturing the seedlings, and other celebrations marking the beginning of the growing season. Rebirth is THE LESSON of spring and it doesn’t have to be limited just to spring. Rebirth can happen anytime; in a new week, a new day, and even in a new hour. We have all experienced the death of the world as we know it and it’s a great time to practice renewal every single day.

We have slowed down from the hectic rapid pace of our lives, but we don’t have to stop completely, we can still move forward. When I was cycling regularly a few years ago, we would go out on long rides every Saturday for rides of 60, 70, up to 100 miles for the day. In the Marin Headlands north of San Francisco there are a lot of hills and steep inclines to navigate during the route each week. Just as we would be cruising along enjoying the scenery, we would suddenly be riding uphill and have to adjust the gears. We did this often to maximize our individual potential in the different terrains. Even at various points in the ascent, we would shift gears according to the degree of steepness. Inevitably, we’d have to move into the lowest gear and focus the efforts to successfully manage the climb. Then it was a matter on carrying on spinning at the newly adjusted pace and accepting that although we were moving forward very slowly, we would eventually reach the top. For some riders, the slope didn’t slow them as much, but for me it was a massive case of the lesson from the Tortoise and the Hare: Slow and steady wins the race and I learned to embrace that. I didn’t stop, I kept moving and I arrived at the destination. The pace didn’t really matter; I knew I would arrive.

While we may not know exactly what the destination is at this point or how long this shelter in place/physical distancing/quarantine will last, we can settle into the fact that it is temporary and it may well be to our benefits to keep moving forward even at an exponentially slower pace than we are accustomed. Because we are in unfamiliar territory and don’t have routines to fall back on, a checklist will provide support to establish the reality that we want to be living in.

I’m not here to deny that things are intense right now. What we are all are witnessing and experiencing is difficult and distressing. And it’s also unusual because it’s the same yet different for each of us. The best way I’ve heard this described is that we are all in the same storm, but in different boats. However you consider it, we are all doing something we’ve never done before. Interesting that so far this year, I’ve written about Getting comfortable being uncomfortable, Taking things once day at a time, and Establishing habits. Well friends, here we are with an opportunity to focus on all of that. At the outset, we approached 2020, both a new year and a new decade, with such excitement and anticipation, it has certainly has unfolded differently than expected. We have to adapt and adjust and we might even create something better in the process.

Now that the initial dust has settled, there’s space to regroup and assess specifically what we need to function our best in mind, body, and spirit each day. There is possibility to move away from fear and come out at the end of this better off than before, but it’s up to us. It’s like the astronauts in Apollo 13 when an oxygen tank failed. We need to determine our current resources and use them to their greatest potential so that we can maintain and even up-level our health, energy, and sanity.  And for those of us looking after children and families, this is even more essential because we have to put on our own oxygen masks first. We will survive this one way or another and each day we get to decide which way we are going to show up, for better or for worse, literally.

The bad news is that it seems that we are all going to be in this teetering situations for a minimum of 3 more weeks and likely even longer, the good news is that this is the basic amount of time to plant the seeds to establish a new habit and even a new routine. Are there ways you can improve your life and wellbeing in 5-15 minute chunks? It’s not really helpful to think with the mindset when things go back to normal because “normal” will never again be as we have known it. Every week things are changing. The best way to navigate the changing landscape of our lives is to have a plan that can adjust to the undulations and tumultuousness of this time. While 3-4 weeks appears to be a best-case scenario, things will become re-established in stages that are likely to go on for several months.

The only thing certain is change. –Heraclitus.

*** Now, the fun part, the checklist. The purpose of the checklist is to have an anchor, a reference point to focus on things that keep you well and in forward motion rather than getting swept away in a wave of negativity or despair. Also because even though we know we should be doing things like drinking plenty of water and reducing screen-time before bed, we aren’t always likely to do them without some accountability and motivation. I started to get caught in that current a couple of weeks ago and I had to find something to bring me back to the shore. Once I realized I needed to Clear the air energetically, I felt ready for more. I made a list of all things I wanted to do each day that would bring out my best self. I kept the expectations relatively low and hoped to do it for ten days and then “we’ll see,” I said to myself. I called the list the April Reset after drinking wine, eating cake, and staying up late during the first weeks of the lockdown. That was all fine then, after having had our world shaken up and dumped right out, but it was time to move on. I put the list in a notebook and drew out the grid to check things off each day. I would do yoga and write in my journal, have gratitude, drink plenty of water, take my vitamins, say affirmations, send a text, voice, or video message to at least one person, go for a walk, practice Italian for 10 minutes, read or listen to a book, do a writing exercise, delete emails, take a nap, listen to music, laugh, take an Epsom salt bath, and floss my teeth (something I always intend to do and have never made a good habit of it.) It’s a full list and it nearly filled up a page. Most of the things on the list could be completed in 5-15 minutes. Once I did something on the list, I got to put a checkmark in the box and I felt a sense of accomplishment.

At the end of the week, I had filled up most of the spaces, but not all of them. That was okay because it was feedback. I took a nap 4 of the 10 days, a bath 5 times. I did zero writing exercises. I noticed that I felt better and the list gave me a sense of purpose. During each day, if I wasn’t sure what to do next, I referred to the list and do something on the list. If I hadn’t laughed yet, I would go online and look for some funny memes or videos to make me laugh because I know that laughing makes me feel good. I noticed that I was spending much less time on social media and mindless checking of news websites. I was still checking on things, but it wasn’t driving my days. I also noticed that during the weekend, I didn’t do some things like yoga and delete emails but I took more naps and baths. I added highlights to those columns to distinguish weekend days from weekdays.

I felt pretty good at the end of ten days, so I made another page to be sure I would continue doing all this stuff on the checklist. Now that I’m starting the third list, I realized that some things are pretty solid now like taking vitamins and drinking plenty of water, so they aren’t on the list anymore. I added morning meditation and some physical therapy exercises for my shoulder that gets tight during stressful situations. I also added watch tv to my list because I tend to keep myself busy right up until it’s time for bed and I recognize that I need to take more time to relax. For now, I have writing exercise on the list even though I haven’t done it yet, but I am hopeful that one day I will sit down be able to focus on a writing exercise. I’m even thinking of what I can add the next list, both drawing and playing a musical instrument are vying for a spot.

The Best-Self checklist is a list of things that nourish your body, mind, and spirit. It’s super self-care. We need super self-care right now because so many new things are expected of us.

Start by thinking about what makes you feel good, calm, and at peace. Write it all down in a list. Maybe you tried some things on the list from last week’s blog and enjoyed them or felt uplifted by them. Also think about times you haven’t felt so well and eventually felt better. What contributed to getting through it? Body, mind, and spirit are all connected, so meditating will help the body and going for a walk can help the mind, they aren’t mutually exclusive. Are you getting the basics? Sleep, nutrition, and plenty of water? Are you keep yourself too busy? Or the contrary – too much time doing nothing? Also, what do you love to do and what goals do you have? I had been enrolled in an online Italian class, and I want to continue learning Italian. Maybe there’s a passion project or growing a garden that you didn’t expect to have time for this year. Practicing an instrument, making a recipe, drawing – creating anything will provide a sense of accomplishment and boost the spirit releasing hormones that enhance physical function. How about something you’ve always been meaning to do that you could start to explore for 10 minutes each day? There is no pressure and it doesn’t matter if you don’t do it, rather, it’s an acknowledgment of something you’d like to have in your life. At the end of the day, life is composed of those little things that we choose to do each day. Choose well!

Once you have these items written on a list, simply put a checkmark next to the ones you do each day. If you like, you can get fancy and draw out a grid, but it’s not necessary. A simple piece of paper will do.

One of the greatest gifts of slowing down in the past several weeks is that it has forced us into the present moment, that elusive slice of time that we struggle to capture while our minds and attention so easily focuses on the past or the future. Each day, each hour, each moment is unique to the last and we don’t know what will happen the next. Having a list of things that bring out the best in you allows you to ask yourself throughout the day, what do I need right now in this moment?

The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. That’s all there ever is. -Eckhart Tolle

To help you get started, I’ve included a huge list of possibilities for your list. Choose as few or as many as you like, but also be realistic of what would actually be possible in a day within your current reality. After the first 7-10 days you will be better able to assess how much more you can add what makes the most sense moving forward. It will be totally different for each one of us. While some of us need to get dressed each day, others need to be ok with a pajama morning; some of need less time on the sofa, some of us more, it totally individual and needs to be customized to express of your own best self. This list is private, just for you to see. There’s no judgment. If you don’t do it one day or ever, it’s just that, you did something else instead.

We’ve already had 21+ days of shelter in place, long enough to start establishing routines that may eventually become habits. We have slowed down and shifted gears and hopefully are still moving forward even the smallest of steps. Are your current daily activities contributing to progress towards your best self? I know this may sounds harsh, but even in times of challenges, we must rise to the occasion and adapt. We have a choice everyday to be making forward, negative, or neutral progress.

Growth requires movement and often the only way forward is through the exit door. –Alicia Keys

Things that might be included on the list:

• Get dressed.
• Take a shower.
• Take a bath.
• Do a face mask.
• Exfoliate.
• Floss,
• Wash face.
• Brush teeth.
• Make your bed.
• Apply lotion to dry skin.
• Put hand cream on when you wash your hands.
• Use foot cream on heels.
• Wear a necklace.
• Wear perfume.
• Paint your nails.
• Use essential oils.
• Take vitamins.
• Drink only tea (no coffee).
• Drink decaf coffee.
• Drink hot water with lemon in the morning.
• Drink only herbal tea or water after 2 pm.
• Take a short walk around the block or around the house after a meal.
• Eat breakfast.
• Practice IF and skip breakfast.
• Drink plenty of water throughout the day.
• Chew gum.
• Do 1 push-up and add 1 every other day
• Do 10 squats.
• Do 10 jumping jacks.
• Sit on the floor and then get up again (this is something related to maintaining mobility as we age)
• Do Physical Therapy exercises for hip, shoulder, knee wrist, and so on
• Do 15 min yoga video and increase by 5 min each week.
• Dance to your favorite song.
• Stretch.
• Use foam roller.
• Escape in a good book.
• Listen to music.
• Play a musical instrument.
• Practice a language.
• Laugh.
• Sing.
• Look at old photos.
• Light candles.
• Send a message to a friend.
• Call a friend.
• Turn off all electronics for 20 min and longer.
• Create a new recipe.
• Eat dinner on the fine china.
• Plant seeds.
• Water the seeds/plants/flowers.
• Pull weeds.
• Walk barefoot on the grass.
• Lay on the ground.
• Stop and smell the roses, lilies, lilacs, orange blossoms, wisteria, magnolias, jasmine, everything all around the world that is blessing us in full bloom with intoxicating aromas right now.
• Learn more about history, geology, math, anything.
• Meditate or pray.
• Say affirmations.
• Take several deep breaths.
• Write in a journal.
• Create something.
• Knit or crochet.
• Sew.
• Draw.
• Paint.
• Write poetry.
• Write a story.
• Do a coloring book or print a page to color.
• Do a jigsaw puzzle.
• Play family games.
• Be kind.
• Be positive.
• Don’t complain.
• Help others however possible, even if it’s saying a prayer or a blessing.
• Tell someone you love him/her.
• Take a walk.
• Take a nap.
• Spend time outside.
• Watch the clouds.
• Sit and watch a movie.
• Stop watching so many movies.
• Clear out emails.
• Organize photos.
• Deep clean one room each week.
• Do the dishes.
• Don’t do the dishes.
• Turn off all screens one hour before bed.
• Go to bed by 11 (or whatever time is best for you)
• Allow yourself to feel sad/angry.
• Cry.
• Be silly.
• Have gratitude.